In the Eye of the Beholder
by mooms
Summary: She may not be the fairiest of them all, but to Haldir, the beholder, sees more in her than what meets the eye...
1. A Voice In The Dark

**In the Eye of the Beholder**

Chapter 1 – A Voice in the Dark

Haldir blinked – once, twice – thinking about the last thing that had happened to him. Yes, orcs, he recalled. The pack of orcs that came upon him and his wardens were too many. He wondered if his wardens were able to flee to safety, wondered if his brothers had survived. Were there many of them who fell, he couldn't tell, for darkness claimed him. Yes, he knew, but remembered very little.

A sudden shuffling noise caught his attention and he quickly became aware of his surroundings. He found no trace of acquaintance in that place. 

_Where am I?_ He thought, as his eyes roamed about the very unfamiliar chamber. The room, if it could be called as such, had but one candle flickering in the distance. Counting to ten, he sat up on the bed and sighed before…

"Lie still. You are not well yet," a gentle voice called out to him. It did not take him long to realize that the speaker was a woman, though how her voice came to be quite gruff for a woman, he could not tell. He remained seated.

_Maybe she isn't an elf at all. A human, perhaps?_ Haldir thought as he looked for the presence of the woman in the dimly lit room. He soon realized the room was dank, and it smelled, well, different. It smelled foul.

"This isn't an elven dwelling at all!" He exclaimed.

"Yes, nor is it a human home, I suppose you don't mind what little comfort my home can give. My kind is not the type who fancies much decoration and flair" the coarse, female voice answered. "I told you to lie still, didn't I?"

"Who are you? Show your face!" Haldir got off the bed and stood in defiance. He squinted and employed his excellent elven vision to be able to catch a glimpse of the being who saved him. But it was in vain. Even a shadow, he could not see.

"I need not show myself to you. Help can be provided by someone unseen. Now if you'd just go back to bed, please. I won't harm you. If I had intended to, you'd be dead by now, March Warden," the voice said firmly, and with conviction.

Haldir's face softened, he then moved back into the bed. Somehow he seemed to find peace and calm in that hoarse, but gentle voice. And strangely enough, he found out he liked it, so he tried to carry on with the conversation. "You saved me. I am forever in debt to you. Still, I would want to see the face of the one who I owe so much to."

"Nay, Captain, but I would rather remain a voice."

"Is there something you wouldn't want me to see?" Haldir questioned. He felt silly, though, for he could infer that the woman did not want to be seen. _It could be that she may think herself not physically attractive_, Haldir mused.

The voice remained silent. He heard more shuffling movements from the voice. She seemed to be gathering something… _Aah, weapons_, Haldir thought. _She is a warrior, then_.

"Can't I even have your name?" Haldir insisted. He finally sensed where she was in the room, and walked towards her. Before he could get any closer, a blow came upon his face. It came close to making him unconscious, but the force was controlled enough to just send him flying back to the bed.

"I told you to stay put. I am sorry, but I have to keep my distance."

"Your name, lady," Haldir beseeched.

The voice sighed. Haldir smiled to himself in triumph; it seemed that the voice had finally given up. _Maybe I may win some other battles with her when I am well enough_, his playful mind running again.

"You may call me Skaian."

"Mae govannen, Skaian. I noticed you carry weapons. I wonder where mine are."

"You definitely have no need for that in my cave. You are safe here, so stay. I'm leaving to hunt for food. You haven't eaten in two days. I will be back soon. Mae govannen, Haldir o Lorien." Skaian's voice seemed to fade in the distance as she who is unseen turned back and strode out of the cave.

"By the way, how did you come to know who I am?" Haldir blurted out. He wanted to ask her that question since she addressed him as March warden.

"You've taken many lives of my kin, you are well-known to us - a notorious and skilled warrior," came her reply, and Skaian tried hurriedly to make her way out.

"Wait, one more thing." Haldir called out to her and she halted her steps for the second time. "I would like to know how you came upon me and my wardens during the raid. The orcs were too many to fight against…"

Skaian took a deep breath, then her voice spoke that which Haldir himself could not fathom, much more believe. "I was among those who raided your little hunting pack. The orcs are my kinfolk. But be not afraid of me, I will not hurt you. Trust me. No one will dare enter my cave. So give yourself rest."

Haldir could not believe a single word she had just said. Skaian, whose husky voice made him feel safe. _Well, at least until I find out what she really is_.

Haldir resolved that she would not remain unseen for much longer.


	2. In Hiding

**In the Eye of the Beholder**

Chapter 2 – In Hiding

Skaian walked about the forest. She looked confused…and not at all concerned about hunting. Actually, there's still food enough for Haldir and herself, stored in the cave.

_So there's nothing to worry about_, she thought. _A few moments more, and I'll go back into the cave._

Hunting is not the reason she left the cave. She needed to get away from the March Warden.

The Guardian of the Golden Wood had been so insistent in knowing who she was. She didn't dare the risk to let him see her face. _But_, she thought, _someday it will be unavoidable_.

She pondered on how to get about his convalescence and care for him without the Guardian catching a glimpse of her. She sighed and looked up to the sky and noticed Ithil claiming her glory in the skies and over the land. She wished for the gift of Ithil's beauty. If she had such beauty, then maybe she wouldn't be so aloof with the March warden…

Haldir was sulking in the cave, his pride wounded. How could such a female be strong enough to size him up - Haldir, the Protector of the Golden Wood? Plus, he had been thinking about her last words before she left for hunting. Skaian, an orc? Yes, orc, no female elf has that strength. Except maybe for Galadriel with the powers of Nenya. Maybe half-orc and…half-what? Yes, probably half of something. A pure orc would never be as gentle as she is. Most of all, he wondered how his perfect elven vision failed him when he tried to see Skaian's face.

When he heard her footsteps growing clearer as she got nearer to the cave, Haldir put those ponderings aside as he thought about what they would have for supper. He indeed was much starved. When he finally felt her presence in the dank abode, he said "Good evening, my lady. I suppose you've done well with your hunting? Caught any deer or some other?"

"No, I haven't. I fear my hunting skills aren't as good enough as I thought," l_iar_, she said to herself. _You know you did not hunt_.

"Anyway there's still some food that could keep us tonight. I'm going outside to build a fire and heat it. Stay here and rest." Skaian continued.

"Can't I go outside, too? I might have the honor of seeing your face once the fire blazes bright. I'm going outside with you and you can't stop me. You're not my keeper." Haldir retorted.

"Just as I thought. It is inevitable," Skaian muttered to herself. _What can I do to keep him at bay?_

"Well, March Warden, I think I shall take on to lighting a few more candles here to make you comfortable. I was foolish enough not to light some when I left. Maybe a little brightness in here will make you forget about going outside. Besides, you need rest. The cold air outside will do you no good."

Haldir found her presence comforting. He marveled how such being could evoke such feeling to him. He found it foolish, thinking he felt like an elf who had just gotten past coming of age and experienced his first blind date.

When Skaian had finally finished the business of lighting the dwelling, Haldir finally realized why he could not get a glimpse of her – she was veiled – but he could make out her eyes. Her eyes were so rare – like a cat's. He finally got to look her in the eye, and when Skaian stared back at him, he felt a shiver run down his spine.

She has beautiful eyes. _A gift of such beauty to an orc lady_? Haldir thought.

"My lady Skaian, someday I do wish to see more of you than just your precious eyes." Haldir declared. He was sincere with those words. "And maybe…I would have such honor of seeing you when I accompany you outside," he said mischievously.

"Someday you will realize…and you will regret having wanted to see me." Skaian insisted. "Please, stay behind."

"You couldn't keep me here." Haldir defied her.

"Well…" Skaian said stepping closer to Haldir and giving him a punch on the face that rendered him unconscious. She then  
dragged his heavy frame back to the bed.

"I'm sorry for having to do this again, March Warden, but you left me no choice."

Once outside, she went on to build fire. Carefully, she heated some food enough to feed four people. She has quite a healthy appetite. She expected the March Warden could be quite a good feeder, too.

Skaian moved closer to the fire. The cold air was getting to her. She wished she had just let Haldir go with her. Then maybe she won't be sulking this way. _Maybe he wouldn't be much trouble_… A stray idea crossed her mind, and she scolded herself for having thought of that.

She looked at the searing fire as she waited for the food to warm up. The fire she had made was so intense that she was lost in her thoughts…

---

Notes

Ithil – moon

Nenya – Galadriel's ring of power


	3. A Memory

**In the Eye of the Beholder**

Chapter 3 – A Memory

Skaian remembered that day she first laid eyes on a beautiful elf…

Her mother had died on the morning Skaian turned nineteen, and her uncles had sent her out of Edoras the minute her mother drew her last breath. They told her to look for her father, an orc.

How could they ever keep her? An orc-child of one of Rohan's finest shield maidens was despicably shameful! Skaian's physical features – her pointed orcan ears, pinkish-grey skin, almond-shaped golden yellow eyes, gruff voice and keen sense of smell – and her exceptional strength and height for a woman of Rohan would definitely give her away.

What she got from her mother, though, were her straight hair (not stringy like orcs') and her human body, smooth skin, grace, a perfect set of human teeth and the spirit of the Rohirric women.

She was thankful, though, that she had not the gangling walk and stooped back like the orcs.

Skaian journeyed forth in the wild hoping to find her orc sire. Rough and violent as orcs were, she was confident that they would not harm her. She would only need to copy their lanky walk and get dirty. Then her appearance would do well and would definitely pass for a pure-bred orc. She just needed to show them she could also be as violent as they are and act as if she possessed the hatred of orcs towards humans and elves. Her mother told her about these orcan characteristics when she was younger, should she need it someday. And that time had come.

She stopped in a clearing to rest a while and eat. Her mother's relatives were kind enough to at least provide her with food that would keep her for a few days, and a sword that once belonged to her mother when she was training as a shield maiden.

Skaian knew not what to do with a sword, for she never got a chance to be trained like the other Rohirric girls her age. She never even got the chance to get out of their house for no other reason except to chop wood and at those instances, she had been veiled. Only her eyes could be seen. She knew they all wanted her hidden, and since she wanted no shame to befall her mother and her family, she obeyed.

As she was eating, she smelled something…something… foul. _Orcs, yes. Here they come and I am ready, _she thought.

As she prepared herself to do her act, a loud yelling from the orcs was heard. It might be that they were under attack. She quickly composed herself, moving as quietly as she could towards the melee. She paused as she made out figures of archers in the trees who were attacking the orcs. She finally got her chance to prove herself to her orc kin.

There were not so many archers present and she knew they would not be able to fight for long. She knew, too, that the archers were outnumbered, for she could hear more orc footfalls growing clearer, nearer.

The archers seemed to have felt the peril that awaits them, and tried to flee. It would be unwise to fight a losing battle.

_Great, I only need to slay an archer and it will be fine_, Skaian schemed. She unsheathed her sword and made her way into the heat of the skirmish.

As the archers went down the trees to flee, one of them got stranded between an orc and Skaian. But before the orc could strike, an arrow hit his form. She wasted no time as she quickly felled the archer before her. She turned around, and it was the moment when her eyes beheld the most beautiful being she had ever seen.

Cold, gray eyes pierced hers – eyes full of hatred, contempt and grief. She did not want this archer to see her eye to eye. She turned away.

She stood over the fallen one, who was nearing his end. With his last breath, the archer struggled to say these words "Haldir! Tell them, my family…please…," but he wasn't able to finish what it was he had to say.

Skaian waited for an arrow to pierce her back. But none came. The archers were gone. She dared not look back.

The pack of orcs she had heard from a distance had finally arrived. Upon seeing Skaian for the first time, standing beside the dead enemy and noticing her bona-fide orc features, they knew she was one of them…

Skaian never found her father, though.

That was twelve years ago.

Skaian finally roused from her thoughts, gathered the food and went back to the cave.

She still could not believe having seen the beautiful archer once again after all these years.


	4. Those Eyes

**In the Eye of the Beholder**

Chapter 4 – Those Eyes

_Now I believe she really is an orc_, Haldir thought, annoyed at having received two punches on a single night by a female. His jaw really hurt. His ego, wounded. For no one dared challenge the renowned Guardian of the Golden Wood.

_But a female orc? I don't think I have heard of such, never seen one…but, Oh Iluvatar…_

Haldir's aggravation faded as he thought of what Skaian might look like...then he remembered her eyes. He tried to recall the day he first saw a pair of golden yellow eyes.

Skaian.

He could not be mistaken. Haldir sighed in remembrance of that fateful encounter.

Six against twenty, it was easy for Haldir and his archers to slay all of them, but Haldir could hear more Orcs coming. They will be outnumbered soon. He thought it was best to flee. He had given the command to run to safety, and four of his archers have disappeared into the darkness.

The fifth archer, Zepherin, was stranded between two orcs. Haldir knocked down the orc in front of his shield-brother. It had been too late; the one behind Zepherin was fast and felled the Galadhrim archer even before the March Warden could draw another arrow.

Haldir looked squarely at the orc who killed his archer, his friend. Haldir's cold, gray eyes met a pair of determined, golden-yellow eyes that sparkled. His eyes, full of hatred, contempt and grief, Haldir was a sight to be frightened with. The orc quickly turned away. Haldir then drew an arrow and aimed at the creature.

He aimed…and focused. _He does not move. He is awaiting his death, then. I need to get this done before more of his kind arrives…_

He aimed, but could not bring himself to release the arrow.

The March Warden of Lothlorien turned back and fled into the darkness, leaving the golden-eyed orc and his friend Zepherin behind.

Haldir ran as fast as he could away from the melee, and caught up with his surviving archers. They journeyed back home to Lorien, but stopped to rest as dawn crept into the sky.

Haldir sat alone and reflected on the past night's events.

He regret having to leave Zeph's body, almost blamed himself for his archer's death. His friend Zepherin just got back into duty after he and his life mate were given a child by the Valar. Haldir felt sorry for the now fatherless elfling. He felt really bad about Zeph, but he did not regret letting the orc live.

He aimed, but could not bring himself to release the arrow.

He never knew why.

That was twelve years ago.

The orc with the golden-yellow eyes…it was Skaian. Haldir was certain.

"Here, have some.

Haldir returned to his senses at the sound of Skaian's voice. He looked at her as she entered the cave.

"I believe you are hungry. You've been unconscious for nearly two days. So eat," She placed the tray on a table a few paces away from Haldir. Then she turned back and moved away. She wished to maintain her distance. "You have to get the food on the table by yourself, as I can't bring it to bed. I'm sorry."

Haldir came to the table, grabbed the tray, then went back to the bed and sat. He did not touch the food just yet, but stared at Skaian.

"It is cooked, I assure you. I'm not like the rest of the orcs who eat it raw," Skaian said, thinking that it was the reason Haldir did not touch the food.

"No, it's not that," came Haldir's reply. "Won't you join me? Aren't you going to have dinner?" He then took a bite of the beef stew.

"Later. Outside. When you're done." Skaian curtly answered, and sat on the nearest stool.

They sat in silence as Haldir continued to gobble the food. He was hungry, but he never thought of that until he ate, for there were a lot of things going on inside his head. When he was finished, he got up and brought the tray back to the table. He remained standing, and looked piercingly at Skaian.

"You said I was unconscious for two days, yet I cannot find a single wound on my body. How is that possible?" Haldir wanted to lay his mind to rest, needed to know how he got in the strange cave of the orc lady.

"I was the one who knocked you down and brought you here. It was the best I could do to save you. Many of your archers were able to flee, some were unfortunate enough," Skaian looked down and let her voice trail off.

"Why me?" Haldir asked, but he already knew the answer.

"I don't know."

"You don't know? Well, I know. You tried to save me because I let you live after you killed my friend in a raid many years ago." He spoke calmly, but firmly.

Skaian froze, unable to speak.

"In all honesty, I never knew why I even let you live. I had the chance to avenge my friend, but I didn't grab it." Haldir went on.

"You remember it well…" It was all Skaian could say.

"Yes, your eyes made me remember."


	5. The Unveiling of Skaian

**In the Eye of the Beholder**

Chapter 5 – The Unveiling of Skaian

It was a lazy afternoon. Haldir walked about the forest and reflected on his situation…

It had been a week since he woke up in Skaian's cave. Her abode, he found out from his hostess, was situated in the woods near the Gap of Rohan. He never left. Skaian had been generous enough to let him stay, although they never spoke much since he asked about their first encounter that had happened years before.

Haldir slept in the cave, on the bed - her bed. He never knew where Skaian passed the cold nights, for she left the cave right after Haldir finished with his supper. She never even joined him for meals, she just watched him with those sparkling eyes of hers. Haldir never let it show that it made him uncomfortable.

She was very aloof. Haldir was very curious. He wanted to know more of this orc lady. He wanted to see her face.

Haldir was sure his Lady Galadriel knew where he was and what he was up to. But he never heard her voice calling to him. It must be that she approved of this _holiday_, or maybe…there was something more to the unexpected leave of the March Warden.

Haldir continued to roam around the forest, taking in its beauty, although, he was certain, that it could never compete with Lorien's ethereal splendor.

He lost himself in remembrance of his home – his brothers, the Golden Lady, the _she-elves_, the shimmering trees, the Nimrodel…

It was then that he heard splashes from a nearby river. Curious, he walked stealthily towards the direction of the sound… and found Skaian, who was just getting out the river after her bath. He watched her for awhile.

Her appearance was not at all repulsive. He was expecting to see a hideous creature, but the only matter that was quite odd about her looks was that Haldir could not define if she could be categorized as a human, an orc or an elf. She could be one of those, but not quite. Her body was that of a human - hair, teeth, hands - but she possessed unusual height and strength, and a complexion like that of an orc, but a lot cleaner; and exceptional battle skills given to the elves. She had pointy orcan ears, and her eyes…Once again her eyes were what made her look special.

Haldir tried to hide his tall form behind a tree, but with Skaian's keen sense of smell, he was unable to conceal himself.

Skaian felt something was amiss, and sniffed. She realized it was someone else's presence, then hastily pulled on her cloak and said, "I know you are out there somewhere, March Warden."

Haldir stepped out from behind the tree and looked at her with an expressionless face. "Now that I have seen you, there is no need for you to use that veil. You are not as revolting as I expected. Why do you keep on hiding yourself?"

She looked down, and spoke softly. "For the many years I lived with my mother and her relatives, I have kept my face hidden. I am not like the rest of them. I do not even know what I am." She turned her back and started to gather her things.

"You are ashamed of yourself?" Haldir asked, and moved closer to Skaian.

"I have learned to be ashamed of myself." It was all that she said, then turned and walked away… back to her cave.

Haldir just stood on the spot where she had left him. _This lady has an air of mystery to herself, and I intend to find out just what it is_, he vowed.

Later that afternoon, Haldir found Skaian scattering flowers on a particular plot of land. He stood behind her, not saying a word.

Skaian knew that the March Warden had once again graced her with his presence, and said, "This is the plot of land where your friend's body rests. I brought him here, after the encounter, when my pack had gone back to Mordor."

Haldir only nodded, and asked her, "Did you have the need to kill any one of us that day?"

"Yes," she answered simply as she turned to him.

A moment of silence passed. Skaian walked to a nearby tree and sat underneath it. "Would you like to know why?" she inquired.

Haldir, eager to find out everything he could about this peculiar being in front of him, moved closer and sat beside her.

And for the rest of the afternoon, Skaian poured her 31 years' worth of story out to Haldir - growing up an outcast, having no friends, being reminded of her unusual appearance, hiding herself, dealing with her mother's death, fleeing Rohan, her vain search for her father...

Haldir only listened.

Skaian was glad, for the first time, she had someone to listen to her, despite her rather odd exterior.


End file.
